Loneliness – when the distance from others is also felt in the body
Updated: Oct 4
Loneliness can be found in the midst of a busy everyday life. You can be surrounded by people and yet feel left out, as if everyone else has been given a place that you yourself cannot find. It can feel heavy and painful. Sometimes, most of all, it is empty.
When loneliness lasts a long time, it can affect how we see ourselves. Thoughts can become harsh: “I don’t deserve this.” “It’s my fault.” You may start to think that you’re not good with other people, or that you’re too selfish to let anyone close to you. But such thoughts are not proof that you’ve done anything wrong. They can develop when you’ve been alone with your feelings for a long time.
When it becomes difficult to contact
Talking about loneliness isn't always easy. Not everyone feels safe to open up to, and you may not know who to turn to. The fear of being disappointed or rejected can make it safer to withdraw. You may miss closeness and be afraid to seek it out.
It doesn't mean you don't care about others. It could mean you're trying to protect yourself from something that has hurt you in the past. And it's okay to start small: with one person, one message, or a short meeting. You don't have to tell everyone everything at once.
Loneliness can be felt physically
Loneliness is about emotions, but the body can also react. When we experience prolonged insecurity or stress, the body's stress response can become active. Some people feel restlessness, tension, difficulty sleeping, or a body that never fully rests.
Research shows a link between prolonged loneliness or social isolation and a higher risk of, among other things, cardiovascular disease and type 2 diabetes. Stress can also affect blood pressure and blood sugar, among other things. This does not mean that loneliness alone necessarily causes illness, or that everyone will experience such ailments. Health is affected by many factors, and the body reacts differently from person to person. WHO on social connection and health · CDC on the health effects of loneliness
If you notice persistent physical discomfort, it may be a good idea to talk to your GP. It's also perfectly fine to ask for help with the loneliness itself – from someone you trust, your GP or another professional.
There are small ways back.
When loneliness feels chronic, hopelessness can make it hard to imagine anything changing. You don't have to solve everything at once. A small step might be to go to a place where you see the same people regularly, send a simple message, or tell one person, "I've been feeling pretty lonely lately."
You don't deserve to be in pain, and loneliness is not a sign that you're a failure. It's a human experience—and you don't have to bear it all alone.
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